Try AOL Employment 9.0! Risk Free!

A recent IM conversation:

7:58:54 PM [el redacto]: aol sent out an email asking for faculty nominations of students to their "project infusion" programm
7:58:57 PM [el redacto]: some CS major thing
7:59:05 PM [el redacto]: so I sent in this

From: "[el redacto]" <[redacto]@prestigious.edu>
Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:54:37 -0800
To: [redactiva!]@aol.com
Subject: Re: AOL Project Infusion training program invitation

To whom it may concern,

I would like to nominate myself for your program. For years I've been an industry leader with millions of satisfied customers. If you sign me up for the program now I'll even work for 1250 hours free (over the first 2 months). What's more, with a salary of just 50k I can work up to 5 times faster than normal employees!

With all these features and my patented virus protection, how can you say no?

Also, free Black Eyed Peas ringtones.
- [redacto]

My hopes were up that someone there would have a sense of humor.

... I expected too much.

From: "[redactiva!]" <[redactiva!]@aol.com>
Date: Wed, 22 Mar 2006 07:07:52 -0800
To: "[el redacto]" <[el redacto]@prestigious.edu>
Subject: Re: AOL Project Infusion training program invitation

Hi [el redacto],

You must be graduating this Spring and be nominated by a faculty member in order to be considered for this program.

Thank you,
[redactiva!]

This warranted a second attempt in AOL-speak:

From: "[el redacto]" <[redacto]@prestigious.edu>
Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:54:37 -0800
To: [redactiva!]@aol.com
Subject: Re: AOL Project Infusion training program invitation

LOL. R U 4 REAL?! DMY KMFDM.

- [redacto]